Ep. 39 - Befriending Failure with Redge Flake

Befriending Failure with Redge Flake

[00:00:00] Kent Thalman: [00:00:00] Hi, I'm kent. 

[00:00:01] Anna Thalman: [00:00:01] And I'm Anna 

[00:00:01] Kent Thalman: [00:00:01] and this is film and family, a podcast about feature filmmaking for professionals in the film industry with families hit subscribe to never miss an episode. 

[00:00:09] Anna Thalman: [00:00:09] Let's jump right in. 

[00:00:11] Kent Thalman: [00:00:11] Awesome. So today we have our great friend Redge Flake here with us. we're going to interview him and talk a little bit about, his experience, going through sort of a prototype film and family academy. And, also, we'll just be discussing whatever topics are interesting to the group of us, but, welcome to the podcast Redge. 

[00:00:31]Redge Flake: [00:00:31] Well, thank you. Thanks. I'm happy to be here. 

[00:00:36] Anna Thalman: [00:00:36] We had the great pleasure of hosting Redge and his wife, Marissa, just a few weeks ago in our home and showing them around. They're considering moving out to Georgia and checking out the film industry out here. So we thought it'd be fun to get together one more time and do a podcast. 

[00:00:54] Redge Flake: [00:00:54] Cool. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. We basically stayed in your Airbnb paid you to be our [00:01:00] friends for a weekend and you know, it was, it was great. It was a delight. No, no, it was really good. It was very, very fair trade. If there was a, you know, if that was what it was going to be. 

[00:01:09] Kent Thalman: [00:01:09] So this actually brings up the other, enrollment that, you know, we wanted to mention is that we have this new pay us to be your friends program. It's anyone who wants to pay us really whatever amount of money you want, we can be friends. So that's all there is to it. 

[00:01:26] Anna Thalman: [00:01:26] Redge has joined us in. 

[00:01:27] Kent Thalman: [00:01:27] He was, he was our first protege and we're great friends. So it's gone well so far. 

[00:01:33] Redge Flake: [00:01:33] Yeah, it was very real, very honest. And, you know, 

[00:01:37] Kent Thalman: [00:01:37] all paid for 

[00:01:38] Redge Flake: [00:01:38] work for it worth every cent worth every cent. 

[00:01:42] Kent Thalman: [00:01:42] Oh man. No, it was actually really awesome having you guys in when we felt like we were. Quick bond. So the, uh, I dunno, what do you want to talk about in terms of Georgia? 

[00:01:52] Anna Thalman: [00:01:52] So I just wanted to talk about Georgia a little bit, just because we have wanted to do a podcast about the film industry in Georgia. [00:02:00] And this seemed like a good opportunity with reg who just came and visited and we got to kind of show it off to him. So, we'll just start this episode by talking about that a little bit. 

[00:02:09] Kent Thalman: [00:02:09] We're not funded by the state of Georgia or by the Georgia industry of film industry, 

[00:02:14] Anna Thalman: [00:02:14] just in case you're wondering, because you know, some of us didn't even know that film existed in Georgia. I didn't know that 

[00:02:21] Kent Thalman: [00:02:21] well, a few years ago you didn't, but I think you'd have to be living under a rock to not know. At this point. I shouldn't say that I shouldn't be rude. 

[00:02:31] Redge Flake: [00:02:31] I think that, you know, people watch a movie and they see the Georgia peach at the end go bing and they go, oh, that's cool. It's filmed in Georgia. And then, you know, if they're like fans of the walking dead, they might know that it was filmed in Georgia, but then after that, and they kind of, don't really think about it or make that association or take the time to look into it. But it sounds like, if you want to find a major film hub, that is also a place where you can live cheap or at least. decently, you know, [00:03:00] Georgia is probably one of the only really big places like that. 

[00:03:03] Anna Thalman: [00:03:03] Yeah. Well, and a lot of people don't sit through credits long enough to even see the sticker at the end. We always sit through the full credits and we're the last ones in the theater, so, 

[00:03:14] Redge Flake: [00:03:14] well, you know, it's all those, people waiting for that movie. After the movie, the little clip after the movie, you're like, oh, what's going to be, and then it's like, oh, there's the Georgia peach. You have to see that before you can get there 

[00:03:24] Kent Thalman: [00:03:24] the, the post credit scene. Well, and if you're a big Marvel movie fan, then you'll get both. So that's a good, that's a good point. Yeah. 

[00:03:31] Anna Thalman: [00:03:31] It's smart to do that. So first of all, we'll talk briefly about why we chose to move to Georgia. 

[00:03:38] Kent Thalman: [00:03:38] basically I said, I think there's film in Georgia and Anna said, okay, let's go. That was, that was the decision.

[00:03:45] Anna Thalman: [00:03:45] No, we were looking at New York city and we were looking at LA and. We were in Utah, that's where we went to school and just kind of trying to decide where we wanted to go. 

[00:03:55] Kent Thalman: [00:03:55] We were already parents. That was a big factor. 

[00:03:58] Anna Thalman: [00:03:58] Yeah. We couldn't [00:04:00] probably even afford to live in Georgia, much less LA or New York. We might have to pause for a second here. Redge was saying, we should just record the kids screaming and it'd be more real like film and family. There's the family part. So if you, if you do hear kids screaming, that's what that is. 

[00:04:20] Kent Thalman: [00:04:20] We'll have them on the podcast sometime. 

[00:04:22] Anna Thalman: [00:04:22] Yeah. We have been meaning to do that, actually. Um, 

[00:04:26] Redge Flake: [00:04:26] That'd be cool 

[00:04:27]Anna Thalman: [00:04:27] So yeah, we, I think it was partly because we had a family and partly because there was film. Partly because it was good weather 

[00:04:38] Kent Thalman: [00:04:38] and it felt right to us. We just felt like we needed to do it. So a big part of it. 

[00:04:45] Anna Thalman: [00:04:45] So when Redge and Marissa, you guys came out, we first did a little small studio tour and there are a lot of small studios like that in Georgia. They've kind of popped up all over the place. I actually can't remember what it was called. [00:05:00] Oh, wow. 

[00:05:00] Kent Thalman: [00:05:00] But there are tons of small facilities 

[00:05:02] Anna Thalman: [00:05:02] lots of those. And then we drove you guys around and showed you Trilith studios, 

[00:05:07] Kent Thalman: [00:05:07] formerly Pinewood. 

[00:05:08] Anna Thalman: [00:05:08] Yep. They've just rebranded. it's owned by Dan Cathy who also owns Chick-fil-A if you love Chick-fil-A you'll love Georgia because there's a, Chick-fil-A on almost every corner and yeah, we kind of drove around. They have a first of all state-of-the-art soundstages and technology they have now the same, led screens that they did the Mandalorian on. 

[00:05:32] Kent Thalman: [00:05:32] They have those. 

[00:05:33] Anna Thalman: [00:05:33] Yeah. They have those now and they're building like this community right next to it, which is worth looking up and checking out because it's this beautiful little village of European style homes. And they're trying to create a place where creatives can live and work really close to where they live. It's kind of a cool thing they've got going. 

[00:05:56] Kent Thalman: [00:05:56] Yeah. It's very beautiful. And even cheaper, probably still than [00:06:00] houses in california 

[00:06:03] Redge Flake: [00:06:03] or maybe Utah, because houses are pretty expensive here. Yeah. They're probably comparable at least, but we kind of looked at some of them. 

[00:06:12] Anna Thalman: [00:06:12] Yeah, you guys would know you're in that market right now. and then we checked out neighboring cities. There's also like Fayetteville and Senoia is famous for the walking dead. So they do walking dead tours there. 

[00:06:24] Kent Thalman: [00:06:24] Have we specify that we live in Peachtree city? We said neighboring cities. 

[00:06:28] Anna Thalman: [00:06:28] Yes. We live in Peachtree city, Georgia. It's the best we love it. 

[00:06:35] Redge Flake: [00:06:35] It might be the best. It might literally be the best. 

[00:06:38] Anna Thalman: [00:06:38] Yeah. 

[00:06:38]Kent Thalman: [00:06:38] Yeah. Well, not everyone will think that Peachtree city is the best. We all here on the podcast today have shared that commonality that we think it's the best, but that's okay. 

[00:06:49] Anna Thalman: [00:06:49] we're a little biased, 

[00:06:51] Kent Thalman: [00:06:51] Georgia in general. I really like south Atlanta. I really like, that whole general area, but a lot of people live north of Atlanta. A lot of people live downtown film [00:07:00] is really active if you live downtown, especially if you're into commercial film, if you're a cinematographer or sound mixer and you move to Atlanta, you're going to be busy. You'll be busy if you're good, especially if you're a sound mixer and you know what you're doing very, very busy. 

[00:07:15] Anna Thalman: [00:07:15] So Redge I'd like to hear, first of all, we should probably tell everyone how we met in the first place. And then maybe a little bit about why you're considering moving here with your family.

[00:07:28]Redge Flake: [00:07:28] Okay. Well, we met at, the LDS film festival and you guys were coming. You had a little short film In one of the programs there. And, I was just commenting after the fact that it was a good film and started chatting with you and another friend, a film friend of mine were chatting with you and then started talking about Georgia and how cool it was. And then um not sure exactly why we, connected beyond that. But, uh, oh, you just mentioned your coaching to us. And I think we just, I thought I [00:08:00] was really interested in how you did it and then, connected from there, I guess. Yeah. 

[00:08:06] Anna Thalman: [00:08:06] Yeah. I think you mentioned at the time that you also had a big family, you had six kids and I remember being like, whoa, that's pretty impressive for someone in film.

[00:08:20] Redge Flake: [00:08:20] I think that my body probably threw that out there. And you had six kids, but, yeah. Yeah. we're, we're, uh, not your average filmmaker family. Cause you know, we've got a lot of kids and it does provide a challenge to, being successful in the industry or at least successful in the way that I want to be. I think that getting a job as a filmmaker, isn't really that difficult these days, it's actually a very high demanding. If you can prove you have some skillset in any realm of it, you can usually find a job, but that's often in corporate [00:09:00] video or, something like that. You're working for a small business even. So, 

[00:09:06] Kent Thalman: [00:09:06] so what are your goals? and just to follow up, why. What is exactly the challenge in your mind of having a big family and being in the film industry. It's kind of two questions.

[00:09:19]Redge Flake: [00:09:19] I totally forgot the first part of that question. What are you saying? 

[00:09:23]Kent Thalman: [00:09:23] having a big is difficult to have success in the film industry, at least success in the way I want to have it. So , I was just going to ask you, what is the success I have in the film industry and why is it hard to have a big family?

[00:09:34] Redge Flake: [00:09:34] Well, I want to make, I want to make films, movies, and I mostly want to be those to be mine, but I'm, open to, you know, being involved in other people's projects as well. I say I want my own partially because if I work for other people, often I have to compromise my ability to spend time with my family. you know, when you, especially when you have a big family, you know, they require a [00:10:00] little bit more attention. and I think anybody wants to have a life and a career, and I think that, oftentimes people in the film industry, sacrifice family for the career and whether that's they actually have a family and they just don't spend time with them and, eventually lose them or, they, , choose not to have a family to have a career. And I. I mean, I already had a family. I decided to have a family way before I decided to be a filmmaker. And, so then it was like, how am I going to do this with a family? And that's always been the pursuit and the goal is doing it with a family. And I've said no to so many jobs. you'd be amazed. people probably would slap me upside the head and be like, what, what are you thinking? That's such an awesome opportunity, but it's just been like, well, yeah, but then I'll have to work 12 hour days to 14 hour days. Cause I'll probably have to drive an hour there and an hour back , and then I won't have time for my family. And, and the reality was is I just was impossible. My wife would kill me. [00:11:00] No, but I wouldn't, do that. And so that's, the real challenge. And, so making my own films is actually part of the reason why that's part of the goal is because I have more control over, you know, what I do, how, how I spend my time.

[00:11:15] Kent Thalman: [00:11:15] You know, I think we can, obviously relate to that. to a large degree everyone's lives are different and everyone's situations are a little different, so there's no right or wrong way. Some people might have families and, decide to work 12 to 14 hour days and spouse, husband, or wife might be like, yeah, you know, I want to support you in that. And you should do that. other marital dynamics might not be the same. And, we're kind of like you Redge that. Yeah. We were like, there wasn't one of us that were like, yeah, go do that 14 hour day thing. And we'll just hold the Fort down here. I think we both had goals and we both said, let's try and figure out a way to make this work without, you know, doing this, potentially forever thing where you're just [00:12:00] always working and how do you know when you're ever going to get out of that? and so, yeah, What you're saying is that you want to find, find a way to make it, I'm not mutually exclusive. Like, can I have this big priority, which is family and have this big priority, which is a filmmaking career and not how do I find a main and maintain a balance there that looks a certain way, you know, and that's going to look a little different for everyone, but, think that's really cool. And I think it's cool that you're willing to, kind of just say no, I'm, believe that there's this vision that I have out there of a life in this that I can eventually realize. I don't have to just say, well, it's this or nothing. I'll go along with whatever flow presents itself in front of me, you're kind of trying to pioneer, whatever it is you feel like you need to make, your life look like. And so I, we obviously hyper relate to that, but. Yeah. 

[00:12:58] Anna Thalman: [00:12:58] So [00:13:00] you said that you got into film after you had a family. how did you get into film and when was that? 

[00:13:06]Redge Flake: [00:13:06] Well, I mean, you know, I, I made short films in high school and, when I was a kid or whatever, and, I always wanted to be like I acted in high school, so I want to be an actor for a long time. I thought that'd be really cool. and there's still like, you know, a little bit of like, that'd be fun to be in my own movies a little bit or whatever, but, I originally liked my original plan, graduating high school or whatever was like, okay, I'm going to go and I'm going to be a filmmaker. But back then it was really, and it still is a little bit, but there was this sort of like. you can't be a successful filmmaker. That's like a pipe dream, you know, , and going into film was like dangerous. And so in my head, I was like, well, I'll do it smart. You know, I'll go get a business degree and then I'll be a filmmaker. and now, it's not really necessary now. I mean, it's still very smart, but, you know, there's so much work in, film related things like if there's video for everything. And so it's not really [00:14:00] like a sketchy thing to do, but when I was at that point, it was still kind of. Culturally sketchy job to pursue. And so, you know, , I kind of, I got back from, an LDS mission and I went and got that business degree and got married and had some kids. And while I was pursuing my degree and then, somewhere in there, I kind of like, like, oh, maybe I don't want to do film. I had , other kind of pursuits and ideas and things that I was interested in. And so I kind of went back and forth and then eventually, I was in a job that I really didn't want. And. It was like, I really want to do something different and we were talking about it and just decided, you know what, I really just want to do film and why not? So just kind of had some faith this could work out and I jumped into it and went full tilt. I mean, full tilt in the sense that I, I still, I made sacrifices for sure. What for my, my family made sacrifices even, but, I've been working [00:15:00] and, or schooling in film for the last six years. Six or seven years almost.

[00:15:06] Kent Thalman: [00:15:06] No, no, no. I think that's awesome. 

[00:15:09]Anna Thalman: [00:15:09] Yeah. So. we're currently open for enrollment in our film and family academy, which is a little different than what you went through. You went through a very early version of that, where it was just the six weeks of private coaching. But I'm curious if you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit of your experience with that. what did it look like before you did it and what did your life look like after? Was it different? 

[00:15:36]Redge Flake: [00:15:36] if you were to look at just outwardly, like, okay, I have probably one more kid than I did then, or maybe, I dunno, maybe it was a baby then, you know, but if you looked outwardly, am I, my life isn't, you know, a ton different and even my film, career, isn't a lot different at this point, but, , I definitely feel more empowered. so when I started, you know, like I had a. [00:16:00] Tendency to be extremely overwhelmed by life in general, which, I mean, you can't always escape, but, and I think we all kind of go through that, but, now I am a much less overwhelmed person and I feel very, um, I don't know, there's this, time when when you feel like you can put all your energy into something and when you like experience after the fact like, man, I really was in that, , I really did good. You feel really empowered. And I feel like I, have that more often, I feel more like a hundred percent or 90% more often than, you know, other times. And so my employment has actually changed a little bit and I actually do less film than I was doing, when I first started, just cause I'm making money for my family and whatnot, right? 

[00:16:43] Anna Thalman: [00:16:43] Yeah. 

[00:16:44] Redge Flake: [00:16:44] Yeah. I got a promotion and that promotion, has allowed me to kind of practice that sort of, stuff that I learned in a way, because there's so many, Projects and tasks that I have to do each day. I'm a manager of a business and, , [00:17:00] involved with a lot of people and a lot of things going on at the same time, like hundreds of customers. And it's not like a retail environment. you know, it's like a service for businesses. And so, there's a lot of people to please and, it could get overwhelming, but I tend to be able to, just accept that's part of the thing, before I probably couldn't really accept things, not getting done or, maybe accept myself for who I was at that moment in time. now it's a lot easier to just Hey, you know what, that, that's, that's just how it goes. I'm much more accepting of reality. And I think that that's kind of the foundation of what I learned is just how to think in a way that is. Have a perspective, that helps you function better. And so like right now, it's really a logistical thing for film for me. If, the logistics of my life was a little bit different right now, don't feel like I would have any trouble being, successful. and I'm getting close logistically I'm getting close to where I'll be ready, I'll be able to [00:18:00] do that. But, that's kind of where I'm at. but, what, the, before, when I started, before I started the coaching, I was probably a little bit more like, you know, if I have the time to do film, I might, I might have the, gumption or the, confidence to do it, but I was a lot less, yeah. Less. I might, I was not as confident about my confidence as I am now. I feel very. Very prepared to be successful. 

[00:18:30] Kent Thalman: [00:18:30] Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I think it was really interesting Redge is that you said two things that almost seem contradicty, or you said I'm more accepting of reality, but at the same time I see you and you're considering moving to Georgia without a job or many contacts in Georgia. Luckily you you have a few more than we did. and so that on the one hand you're accepting of reality, but, I guess the reality that you mentioned was of who you are right now, I think is the wording you used, which I think [00:19:00] is an important thing, but you're also considering making a move that would not look like. I mean, we were just there, people ask us, so you, do you have a job lined up for you out there? And I said, no, do you have family out in Georgia? No. And they're like, do you have a lot of contacts out there as a, we don't know a soul in that whole state, you guys like, we're just going to go, we're going to go, we're going to figure it. And, yeah, I think it was hard, but we did, we figured it out. And, so, you know, when, you described that, I thought to some degree, you're not accepting of reality, you're creating your own reality. And, I think that's also what you're describing. When you say, before it was like you were in this waiting game, maybe, you know, if these things, these circumstances line up and now you're like, I'm almost there and I'm creating it. we're getting steps closer. So I've experienced similar shifts in my life. Even recently, I feel like I've been experiencing shifts and sort of this feeling of all right, this is I'm going [00:20:00] to make my life look the way I want it to look and I'm going to, I'm just going to do it, you know, and, and. That's that's an exciting thing. 

[00:20:07] Anna Thalman: [00:20:07] Yeah. I think empowering is a great word that you used that has described really well. What I felt as well, like learning some of these tools, it just feels like, okay, I can make this happen. I don't have to wait around for someone to do it for me. I can just move forward.

[00:20:23] Redge Flake: [00:20:23] But yeah, think , just on the same tone you guys you're talking about, it's, it's the word that's coming to my mind is risks. I'm more accepting of the end result of something that happens. So that actually makes me more risk tolerant. It's kind of weird because I'm more willing to take risks. but I'm also more willing to accept the results. So, you get, I guess I feel like it's two-sided because yeah, I'm like things aren't perfect. But I'm okay with that. and then I'm also willing to do things that are [00:21:00] crazy or might be construed as crazy because I, know that now I can accept the risk. okay. Maybe I won't get what I want. You know what that's actually okay. You know, that's weird. but I'm also more confident that I will get what I want. So it's, interesting. 

[00:21:18] Kent Thalman: [00:21:18] confident enough to try for it. Right. You know, otherwise you wouldn't risk it all if you didn't believe. 

[00:21:24] Anna Thalman: [00:21:24] Well, so many of us are stuck in this perfectionist trap where we just aren't moving forward because we want it to be perfect. And we're so afraid of failing. But then we don't progress because we're not trying and failing, which is how we learn and grow. So, yeah, that makes total sense. 

[00:21:40] Kent Thalman: [00:21:40] so let's backtrack a little bit, Redge, what did this look like? we were just talking about, you did this sort of pre, it's not exactly what film family academy is now, but you did six weeks of essentially coaching with Anna. and that was it. I mean, it didn't include, you know, the program now includes [00:22:00] a lot of coursework, other resources, it's twice as long it's 12 weeks of coaching. And it's also, 

[00:22:06] Anna Thalman: [00:22:06] there's ongoing support after that 

[00:22:08] Kent Thalman: [00:22:08] ongoing support with sort of the group coaching and whatnot. And so, so you just got this isolated six week coaching experience, what did that look like? And what about that experience led to, I guess what you just described? Cause I feel like that was in my mind a little bit of a gap of, 

[00:22:25] Redge Flake: [00:22:25] yeah, no, no know. Yeah. I agree. I didn't really like go, well, what happened? What, you know, I, I just kind of said, this is before and this is after. And that you're like, well, okay, what happened in between? You know, I think, you know, that's the best part of the movie, but also the hardest part to write. So, really, so like, I think I'm a fairly self-aware person. but I would say a big part of this coaching is trying to teach someone to become self-aware. and that's not, you know, it [00:23:00] wasn't prescribed to me that way per se, but that's what, that's my sort of like summary of what happened there was I became more self-aware. and so you know, like sometimes you see yourself, but the way people see you is very different. And, if you can back away from yourself a little bit and see from another perspective, you start to go, oh, I guess I am that way, I guess. You know? And so, , I think, Anna didn't really necessarily do that either. She didn't really like say specific things about me. In fact, she didn't really give me any advice either. I shouldn't say that there were some, but it wasn't like you should do this or you shouldn't do that. It was, Hey, have you thought about it this way? And once I thought about this way, I was giving myself advice. Right. I was like, oh yeah. You know, really it's like, the way I think. once I start analyzing the way I think, you know, and part of this is the way you feel is based on the way you think, you know, you're actually creating [00:24:00] these feelings yourself, essentially, because of the way you think, and if you can backstep and get to the point where like, this is the way I think, I basically found out, and it was actually, I would say, there was like one moment, very specific moment where I was like, this is an incorrect way of thinking. my way of thinking it's not helping me. It's, very, very much detrimental to what I want. and it was really simple once I realized the way I should think. Anna, didn't say you should think this way. It was just I was analyzing the way I think, because of the tools she gave me. and essentially the question she was asking me, and once I analyze that, I realized, oh, at the heart of it, to me, there was this compelling idea that I should do this and I need to do this. And all the tasks and things in my life were very much important. And they were all on this important list and it was a list and I felt like I had to get them [00:25:00] all done. And so you're constantly going, like, feeling like, well, that's way too much to do for a normal human being and to be sane. And then also it's you feeling guilty and feeling shame or feeling, inadequate or, feeling like, you know, you're not getting the results you want. And I think that, once you go, I realized I don't need to do anything. There's no, should either to me, , that's the way of thinking that was wrong. And my new way of thinking was I could do this. Do I want to do this? it actually came down to, I determined that I'm only going to do the things that I want to do, which some people would be like, that's really selfish. You've got six kids and a wife and the truth is, is I want my kids to be happy and I want, you know, so I choose things. I make choices that I want to do to, bring about some of those results that I want. and so , you could be very unselfish, [00:26:00] and do only the things you want to do. But I guess that's the main thought process that changed in me. And that sounds so simple, but it took, the engaging in this process to click that into my head. 

[00:26:13]Kent Thalman: [00:26:13] Well, I mean, you say, it sounds simple and I've been living this, you know, with Anna watching, you know, I listened to all this coaching coursework and explanations of the model, which is kind of the tool that you were just explaining about thoughts, create emotions and emotions, drive our actions, which create our results. And even just your explaining of it just now, I feel like it was a perspective on it that I haven't heard articulated quite in that exact way. And so, yeah, I can tell it's, hit home for you because of this idea that, you could do only things you want and still be a very unselfish person or selfless person. I've never heard that said in quite that way before I actually really like that, I think that's really profound. And I think that comes down to who we are. And I think that many of [00:27:00] us are better people in our core. Then maybe we want to admit or realize, and maybe some of us have things deep down in our core that we want, that we realize is something we don't want to want, you know? But, find myself that there's a lot of duality within me. I kind of want to things that are very opposite each other. And I just have to say, well, I got to pick what part of me I want to follow and, and whatnot. But I think you're right, Redge, I think you're right. it is possible to do only things you want and be a really selfless person because we've learned or developed, wants that are noble and are, serving other people in various degrees in various ways. And I think I learned that not just the obvious stuff, like what you just said, well, not everything you said was obvious, but one of the things you said was I actually want my kids to be happy and like take care of them. You know, I think we all want that, but then sometimes we get into this mode where we're like, if my kids weren't so demanding and if I didn't have all these other responsibilities, I could focus on these other things more. and I think [00:28:00] that, what was my point, oh, even in like terms of film and such, I've realized to see those wants differently and feel like I want to help people. I want to help as many people as possible. And that means all the people that are going to get hired on a feature film. If I produce it and raise the money for it, all the people that are going to be affected by the story, all the people that I'm going to come in contact with for hopefully have a good influence on and you know, whatever degree, I'm thinking of it in. In light of the, the good and the service I can do in the world and help I can offer other people. And in that way, what would seem like a selfish career driven, maybe even ambitious desire. I feel, I guess I'm starting to feel different about those ambitions and start to feel more about like it's a desire to connect and help connect with and help other people. so I really like what, what you just shared there. And I think that's, really awesome that frankly, [00:29:00] sometimes those things don't stick. And so it's really exciting to see that this was what, like, 

[00:29:05] Anna Thalman: [00:29:05] I know I was going to say it's been a long time and as you bring this up, do you remember how long it was? 

[00:29:10]Redge Flake: [00:29:10] I think it's before COVID so I think it was the summer before COVID. So it was July or June, 2019. Yeah. So 

[00:29:18] Kent Thalman: [00:29:18] was it really that long ago. 

[00:29:19] Anna Thalman: [00:29:19] It was a while ago. Cause you, you did have a baby, a young baby at that time and now your wife is pregnant with your seventh child. 

[00:29:27] Redge Flake: [00:29:27] Yeah. Yeah. So I was, I was at six. Yeah. I was at six, so yeah. But yeah, 

[00:29:32] Kent Thalman: [00:29:32] so, the point is, is that two years after it seems like you've remembered some of the major core things and that you're still making big decisions based on what would seem like a very simple model, but you've internalized it to a degree that it's actually shaping life decisions, which I think is, I think that's remarkable

[00:29:49] Anna Thalman: [00:29:49] , I think so too, I'm actually shocked that you remember so much because it's been so long and unlike the program now there's not like ongoing, you know, support. You haven't really, [00:30:00] we haven't talked about this for however long and yet as you bring up these things and I won't share anything from our private sessions, but I'm remembering instances where those things came up and where we worked through them and. And I'm remembering in a lot more detail. Now, some of the things that you mentioned, so 

[00:30:18] Kent Thalman: [00:30:18] I think, I think it's awesome. I think it's, honestly we didn't even talk about any of this stuff. When you guys visited, we pretty much talked about the logistics of moving and looking at houses and looking at the, you know, the communities and whatnot. And we, we show each other films and stuff that we'd worked on and, you know, but we didn't, we didn't really talk about the coaching or the model or the principles or anything like that in any detail. I don't remember bringing it up, frankly, , yeah, that's, I'm amazed that you remember so much and, and that you remember it in such detail that you basically just described, some of the most central core focuses of , should, you know, could instead of should, like the model itself and just the reanalyzing of the [00:31:00] thinking. And, frankly, you touched on what I think is the most, probably what we all. Have the instant misconception of whatever the word life coaching means, which is like, what are you just like sitting on the sidelines, telling me what to do and where to kick the ball and what decisions to make in my life. And it really is the exact opposite. It's like, you really have all the power over your life and you can make whatever decision you want. And usually what we are doing is we're blocking ourselves from making the decisions we want because we're judging ourselves or we're judging the decision. And these are all optional thoughts. , and like you're saying, you started to consciously make choices about your thoughts and that started to change what you were able 

[00:31:39] Anna Thalman: [00:31:39] to even become aware that the thoughts you were thinking didn't align with your beliefs or your results that you wanted, ultimately. Yeah. That's it, that's a good realization to have.

[00:31:50] Redge Flake: [00:31:50] Yeah, I think, um, it's weird. Cause it's like, I think that, you know, other than going to therapy or something, usually in therapy is usually focused on a [00:32:00] very like a very acute or at least a, negative sort of thing aspect. And, so like I wouldn't have ever said, oh man, I really could use therapy in my life. I've got some major problems. Not that you can't go to therapy and deal with even like simpler things, you know, or whatever. I mean, we all got stuff, but I I'd never really done anything like that. And I think that, I find most people probably haven't where you're focusing on you in a way, but it's, a weird kind of thing because it's like, Yeah. It's, weird. Cause, you're not trying to fix yourself per se, but you do, hopefully, I don't know. it's I guess it could be simply just taking some time to go, Hey, I need to, , think about what I do and who I am and, the way I think, taking that time, which I, I think sometimes people are just like, I go to work and I, I go home and I do what I have to do and I, you know, life is just so crazy. They don't stop and go, let's ponder for a moment. Let's [00:33:00] think for a moment let's question something instead of just living, you know, instead of like letting life happen, you kind of go , okay. Let's and just taking that a minute sometimes I think that just, that, just that part of it is probably, significant.

[00:33:17]Kent Thalman: [00:33:17] Yeah. So coaching is like guided intense pondering. Um, 

[00:33:22] Anna Thalman: [00:33:22] well, even if you did sit down, you might not know 

[00:33:24] Kent Thalman: [00:33:24] how to navigate the mind. 

[00:33:27] Anna Thalman: [00:33:27] It is more like present and future focused. You can bring up stuff in the past, but only if it's bothering you now in the future or affecting you right now in the present, but like 

[00:33:38] Kent Thalman: [00:33:38] affecting you now in the future. yeah. And, and how I, how I've heard it described as like therapy is for not always, but often therapies for someone struggling with some sort of mental or emotional illness or whatever, and that's not bad. most of us I think, are going to have to, at some point, either short or [00:34:00] long period in our lives, going to deal with a degree of mental or emotional imbalance of some kind. And so therapy is a wonderful resource, but coaching is really about, anyone who is emotionally or mentally stable or healthy. But they're wanting to accomplish something more or different. And those changes don't feel accessible, the progress , or the results, whatever it is that they want in their life seem unattainable. They feel stuck. They don't feel, you know, it's not really necessarily for anyone who's feeling suicidal or, feeling major depression. who needs a medication. That's not what coaching is for ,

[00:34:34]Anna Thalman: [00:34:34] can be used in conjunction with that. But it's like the difference between a physical therapist versus a coach in athletics, you know, a physical therapist is there to help you recover from some sort of injury or problem. Whereas the coach is there to help you progress and improve your performance, your performance towards a goal or whatever. 

[00:34:53] Kent Thalman: [00:34:53] I liked how you described it 

[00:34:55] Redge Flake: [00:34:55] and then no dig on therapy. But I think that sometimes, it's better not [00:35:00] to focus on the actual problem itself. It's weird. It's a strange thing, but sometimes we, we think and spend so much time on the thing that happened or the thing that we're dealing with that that's pervading our mind when , sometimes the way to get past something is to, think forward or to think about something more positive or something like that. , think that sometimes with people with addictions, they tend to talk and think about their addiction so much that it's becoming even bigger part of their life than when they, were just in the addiction. Right? I feel like you're more likely to fall back into that. If you keep making it such a big part of your life. Whereas I feel like people who make some, something more of their life say choose something that they want to pervade in their mind, something positive to focus on. Sometimes , those things just. Fix themselves. and I think that with coaching, it's kind of like that , you want to peak performance and you're not so much worried about [00:36:00] the thing that is, you know, like the injury that you have, but you're focused on the progression of what you can do. And for me, there was an injury, like the injury in my head was I was thinking that I was required that there was an obligation to do all these things in my life. And since I wasn't doing all those things, I was bad. Like, I wasn't good. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't. And so, , I fixed that, but it wasn't necessarily, because I specifically was thinking, what's my problem. I was thinking like, what do I want and how do I get that? And then, Oh, that's actually stopped me for, I don't know. Anyway. 

[00:36:38] Anna Thalman: [00:36:38] Yeah, no, I think a lot of times that's a move that people have to make from looking at something in the past and blaming it and just feeling sad about this thing is causing all my problems to moving into. Well, how do I overcome it? How do I, rise above and move forward. And for a little while, you know, if you experienced something traumatic, you may need to stay [00:37:00] there for a little while and just process all the emotion and, and experience it and let it go through you. And therapy can be really good point and get ready to move on. 

[00:37:10] Kent Thalman: [00:37:10] But going back to the metaphor, it's like the best thing for me is not to listen to whatever my coach tells me to do. If I have like a broken leg, I should probably get off the field and actually go to a doctor, you know? but if the leg is healed, but I'm super nervous if I'm playing the game, like, oh, if I do anything remotely, like what I did before, I'm going to break my leg again, or I'm going to like. My knee, I'm going to throw my knee out or bust my ACL or whatever. it's like if I start to play and define my play based off of that past thing, like you were saying, like, if I define myself by it then yeah. That's not gonna serve me at all. you could never do well in a S in a sport, if you're constantly in fear of something that happened in the past that you're healed from. And, some of us might think of, we're not healed from it. And I think that, yeah, it's, it's really, it's scar tissue. [00:38:00] It's not actually injury anymore and we need to move on. So, and that takes some wisdom to know where you are at, because it's not as easy to tell if broken legs are pretty easy to figure it out. but anyway, I liked the, um, I mean, I sometimes overextend metaphors, but I like them. I like this metaphor. 

[00:38:20]Redge Flake: [00:38:20] I think it's also amazing is like, sometimes, there's a lot of peripheral, concerns and, people to talk about like, there's the tree and then there's the branches and all that. And, and there's when the core, like your core, like thinking changes a lot of these other things, just, they don't, they're no longer concerns. And so I think you, you were mentioning the fear of something like, really, when you start to eat a lot, like, make your thinking more. I don't know. I say this, I say better. Yeah. If you're getting at that root of that, thinking like, I found that lots of these feelings that you might have have are no longer there, these, other ones that you weren't [00:39:00] targeting either. Like, I never, I didn't say to Anna, like the feeling that I really, that stops me from doing all these things is fear, but yet. It, was there somewhere. We knew it was there somewhere. Like I knew, I fear stops me in some form or whatever, but that, wasn't what I was targeting. It was like, I feel this way. I feel overwhelmed and I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel confident in what I am accomplishing and what I want to accomplish. And so then when I, started aligning my thinking to that sort of thing, all of a sudden I was less afraid. Like, we were saying, I'm more willing to take a risk, that's not what I was going for, but I got a lot more out of it. was able to uncover and, fix a lot of things by just fixing one thing, you know?

[00:39:43] Kent Thalman: [00:39:43] Yeah. I think that's really profound. I think that that's something that we almost. Always across the board, see with all clients in the film and family academy and in our own lives is that when you take six to 12 weeks to implement the [00:40:00] tools of the model and focus on one particular thing, you don't, you don't want to try and dump your whole life in front of you and say, I'm going to fix everything or I'm going to change everything, or I'm going to improve every single aspect. It's just pick one very specific aspect when part of your thinking, and then you start to notice that any, there are small ways or big ways every aspect improves. And I've noticed that recently in my life, I've been focusing on, Ironically, I started by, we started doing a new round of coaching and Anna actually coaches me, which might sound funny, but 

[00:40:33]Anna Thalman: [00:40:33] I wish you could coach me too. Sometimes you do

[00:40:35]Kent Thalman: [00:40:35] need to go get certified as a life coach. I really do. we'll do that. 

[00:40:37] Redge Flake: [00:40:37] I'll coach you! 

[00:40:39] Kent Thalman: [00:40:39] Yeah, the, uh, the, uh,

[00:40:41] Redge Flake: [00:40:41] just kidding. 

[00:40:43]Kent Thalman: [00:40:43] The, um, but the focus was our marriage. I wanted to focus on that relationship. And so I don't know, that's extra strange, right? Like my wife has coached me on how to improve my marriage. maybe we should all learn from that, but really she's, she steps out and becomes very [00:41:00] impersonal in a good way and is able to really look objectively at my thoughts and whatnot. But then recently I've been finding myself, improving my thoughts significantly about myself in professional ways. And it's changing the way I, I look at my work. It's changing the way I. Make decisions about when I work in, when I don't work and I've actually become a lot more determined to work more into focus in different ways. And frankly, very similar to what you were just describing Redge I've stopped judging myself about some of the priorities or aspirations that I feel and, stopped feeling bad about, you know, certain things about work. And strangely that has been like this major factor in improving my relationship with my wife and kids. and I'm actually like, I don't know if I'm working more, maybe I am, but I'm certainly focusing more on that right now in my life. And yet, I think the biggest thing that the side effect was that [00:42:00] I've kind of backed off and just said, like when I'm working, I'm working and I'm just going to have to trust Anna and the kids and everyone to figure out whatever it is they need to do. And it's actually increased my trust and my respect. in those people in my family and I don't feel like I need to micromanage my family or do anything. And that's actually helped them feel like less micromanaged, which is always helpful in life. and so, anyway, I'm probably not being super clear, but improving a professional way of thinking thoughts that were related to my professional life had major impacts immediately on what I perceived as my family life. And so, I just love that what you're saying, where it seems like all these branches that maybe seem related or not related, but you know, when you start to affect one big part of your life, everything inevitably improves. The thing is, is that most of us never pointedly focus on our thoughts surrounding any part of our lives, because it's a, it's a paradigm and it's a mindset and it's a tool.

[00:42:57] The model specifically is what I'm referring to [00:43:00] that most of us are unaware of we're unaware of how our brains are creating our emotions. Through our thoughts and we're unaware of how to, how to choose and implement that. It's extremely easy to understand, 

[00:43:13] Redge Flake: [00:43:13] you know, you're your own worst enemy. And I think that most people will offhandedly agree with that. But when you realize how, how you really are your own worst enemy, you go like, oh, I can change. It's actually really empowering. That's the empowering part is like, I have the ability to change the way I feel. and sometimes we feel like this is late in my life. And I have to, like, I can't do anything about it, you know? And, and you don't, you can do anything. You can do anything, you know, it's cool. I honestly, if I said this very specifically, what's different from my life now. And, and then the reality is my life is very similar in circumstance. And it's very similar in, my success in film is, not much, it's not really any different, but the way I [00:44:00] feel about all of that, my family and everything, and, you know, where I've applied this kind of like what's applied to everything. So it's not like I just feel different. That's the main thing is I feel different about it. And that's, for me, that's, that's a huge win because it's about quality of life, not necessarily quantity of life, you know, so what I haven't made that feature film yet, or I haven't done this yet, or you know, at least I feel good about being awake every day and doing whatever I do, you know?

[00:44:32] Kent Thalman: [00:44:32] Yeah. 

[00:44:32] Anna Thalman: [00:44:32] Yeah. And that's always where it starts. It's always an internal change before anyone sees the external and the results start to come in. And, you know, when you did this. It wasn't focused on film really at all. It was kind of its own separate thing for filmmakers who want to improve how they feel in their personal life. So now we are really applying it directly to that, but I love everything you're saying here. And I love seeing that effect on all the areas of your life. Like, [00:45:00] I, I love seeing that with my clients. I always start doing an intake in all the areas of our life, because partly it's just to look for patterns and to get some awareness and partly it's to help you decide where you want to focus first. But then the other main part is so that later down the road, we can reanalyze all those categories and you can see how I have a client right now who just was working on time management and said he saw his relationships. We saw his relationships jump up and it was like a low one before. And now it's really high. Which didn't seem at all connected to time management, but it totally was. So it's so funny to see how, how you do one thing is how you do everything. So when you change one thing, everything starts to change. 

[00:45:45] Kent Thalman: [00:45:45] And I think it's the super common misconception that we think we have to be unaccepting of ourselves and our current circumstance to get a different circumstance. But when we actually become extremely accepting of ourselves and our circumstance [00:46:00] and accepting of the fact that we created those circumstances for ourselves and that that's not a hundred percent true. some, you know, 

[00:46:07] Anna Thalman: [00:46:07] we create our results. 

[00:46:08] Kent Thalman: [00:46:08] We create our results. We don't create our circumstance. we cannot control our circumstances, but we can control our results by what we do with the uncontrollable circumstance. I want to make that clear because I could say some very false things. but actually that acceptance almost always will generate. The results that we actually want faster than this. Like, I'm never gonna accept this. I'm not performing well enough. I'm not doing the right things. this performance or this circumstance or these results in my life are unacceptable. It's like, actually they are acceptable. And if you learn to accept them, that's when suddenly the results start to come to you, which is it's super counterintuitive and it's hard to do in practice. But the coaching really helps. 

[00:46:55]Redge Flake: [00:46:55] it's like, what is your relationship with failure? That's really what you're [00:47:00] describing. What is your relationship with failure? You know, does it stop you? Does failure stop you from, from accomplishing things? Because if, if failure is a negative thing in your life, then you're, going to. Probably continue to fail more than you want to. but you won't progress the way you want you that's the real thing is you're not progressing. if failure is a positive thing in your life, you're like, you know what, I'm okay, I'm going to keep going. I'm good with where I'm at and I'm going to just keep going. then you're like, failure just is this, little mini milestones in between, you know, it's like that really bad scene that you shot and then, you know, better. And so then next time you know, you need those things. You have to have, you have to progress in that way. You have to. And if you can't accept that, that's the way progression works. Then you're going to have a really hard time. You're gonna have a really hard time. And, still working [00:48:00] on that, 

[00:48:03] Kent Thalman: [00:48:03] I think that's super awesome. I love that idea of like, what's your relationship with failure because, it's like, are we good friends or do I hate him? Like personify failure? And , do I never want failure to be around, but really failure. We should be good friends with failure. We should be really comfortable with failure and let him into our lives as often as possible. Because if we're comfortable with failing big, we are willing to do like what you were saying about becoming tolerant of risk and the and, the potential failure. Right? Is that the other side of risk? That's what risk is, right? It's the potential for success versus failure 

[00:48:35] Anna Thalman: [00:48:35] and success is always on the other side of a big pile of failures. 

[00:48:38] Kent Thalman: [00:48:38] Yeah. And so the people who are really, really comfortable with failure, high tolerance for it, and maybe even good friends with it, like, you know, Brooke Castillo talks about this, she talks about like, you're not failing big enough. And if you're not failing big enough, you're not progressing fast enough. And you could be progressing more. If you were willing to set a goal that felt [00:49:00] extremely unrealistic or willing to drive for something that felt impossible. And if you're really comfortable with failure, you'll say, yeah, I know that's impossible. there's a great line from a movie that I like called amazing grace where he says, he says, no one, our age has taken power. He's speaking to his friend, played by Benedict Cumberbatch who, I can't remember all the names anyway, and he's talking about running for parliament or a prime minister. And he said, no one, our age has taken power. And he said, which is why we're too young to know that certain things are impossible. So we'll do them anyway. And you know, it's just this idea of like saying maybe I do know it's impossible. I mean, he was kind of saying that basically by was his own statement. He was like, yeah, well, we kind of know that that's impossible, but what if we just did it anyway? What if we just tried for. this thing that no one thinks is, able to exist or happen. And so, and maybe it's, it's not, you know, impossible. Maybe it's just something we think is impossible for us. You know, we've seen other people do [00:50:00] it, but that's often the cases we just say, well, they could do it, but. But I can't, that's not in the cards for me or my circumstances are different, so I can't achieve the same things. And we can just say, okay, maybe it's impossible. I'm going to do it anyway. I'm okay with failing and I'm going to, I'm going to fail lots of times until I get it. So, man, I just love that. I love that relationship with failure thing. I'm going to write it down. 

[00:50:20]Redge Flake: [00:50:20] I've written a whole sort of like, I don't know. It's like, I think I shared it with Anna originally. Yeah. I think the, the writing was actually pretty, you know spot on to like how it really feels to be in that, that space where you know, you should be more accepting of failure and you're not. And you're trying to find that sort of like where, how can I just be okay with like screwing up. I was thinking, I was thinking, sorry. I was, I thought when you were talking, I was thinking about that. We shared our movies with each other and I'm not trying to throw you under the bus, but you were like, oh, we don't, we don't want to watch my movie. And you [00:51:00] were like, oh, this is bad. And you were like, you were cringing at your own stuff or whatever, you know? and it was funny. It was like mine, probably technically had a lot more cringe-worthy things in it. but I swear, like, it's just such a weird thing, and this is a part of , how I've changed is like, I become way more accepting of, myself. And , every time I watched my movie, I it's, my it's like my one, good thing that I like. but every time I watch it, even though people will point out, like my wife will be like, oh, I never noticed that this happened. I'm like, oh, I didn't either. You know? But every time, every time I watch it. I, I feel better about it. It's weird. And I'll admit, like, I'm not very good at being vulnerable. I think I once thought I was like, I am in some areas, like, I cry at movies more than my wife and, you know, and and so, like, I got emotions and I'm very cool with that, you know, but I have not shared that, video or that, film publicly. And, you know, like I [00:52:00] keep saying, oh, I just need to change that one thing before I put it on. I just changed it. and that's what it's been for a long time. like, I love it, but I love it. But, I'm really at this point where like the only thing stopping me from just taking the time to do it this time, it's not, it really isn't an emotional, like, , I can't share that with people because they might think this, or they might think that, or it's just a representation of my failure. I'm showing everybody my failure. But I think that's vulnerability is right. Like just being able to say I am not perfect. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with people seeing that, and I'm not going to try to hide it or, justify myself it's the reality, , you know, like, even with your kids or something, you say something mean to them and you go, I'm sorry. You know, I said, something mean there's no, like I said, something mean because, or, you know, like you were being really naughty and, you know, it's like, no, like that was just, that's just mean. And I, you know, I don't know. I'm just saying, there's that [00:53:00] feeling that you have with it, , I've gotten a little bit better. I'm also, like, I should say right now, I still have a hard time with a lot of things and it's not By any means like, uh, everything is perfect and I'm the best guy ever, you know, like I've got, I've definitely got a lot of work to do, but I feel so much better about it. I feel like, I, I can do it.

[00:53:20]Kent Thalman: [00:53:20] You bring up another really crucial sort of core coaching concept, which is just this, the definition of confidence, which is this ability to fail in front of people and just being okay with that. so what something Anna and I have noticed is that, we've noticed it a lot, but another person who specifically I just noticed recently was David O Sandberg who, directed Shazam he directed his first movie was lights out. He made a short film called lights out. That was like four minutes long. And it went super viral. I think it was shorter than that. And then he made a feature version of that in Hollywood and it made tons of money. [00:54:00] And then he made Annabel 2. And then he made Shazam, which was, you know, big movie. And so he's had this like meteoric career, but before that he was depressed and felt he wasn't doing anything in his life at all. And he just talks about like every short film I've ever made. I felt like it was total garbage. and he's like, I just he's like, I've shared every single one. I just upload them and he shares them. He shares them a lot, even some of his old high school stuff. He'll show clips of and like little stuff from, and he's like, yeah, I mean, this is, this is terrible. And he's like, and he's like, this is really bad. And I bet, I bet he felt that way about lights out that short, that pretty much created his career for him. I think people really liked it. And I think he thought it was trash. he might not have liked it very much. Maybe he didn't, maybe he felt some pride on that one, but he's openly said that most of the stuff he makes, he feels like is really bad and he just puts it out there and that's something. Anna and I pointed out to each other, we were like, this is one of the most. Common traits. We've noticed [00:55:00] about people that really make it, is that they make a lot of stuff and they share it. And so few of us share the work we do, because we're just like, no, I can't let that represent me. And it's like, actually I can, And it does represent me. It's the best thing I've done to date and I'm going to put it out there and I'm gonna make another one. And, you know, what's funny is I think our inability to share it sometimes is what creates our inability to create the next thing. And if we just share it and put it out there, maybe it kind of, hastens the work a little bit, not to say you can move on, but like, I need to move on. I need to make something that gets to the top of the queue right now and pushes that thing lower. And so like, you know, and then I'll make another thing and then another, and then pretty soon you're making a lot of films and you're what happens when you make a lot of films, as you learn the craft and you get comfortable with it. And that's the thing that most people just never do. And so, yeah. Confidence being comfortable with failing. That's awesome. 

[00:55:53] Anna Thalman: [00:55:53] Well, this has been a really good discussion. We're actually running short on time. I thought we were going to have to talk about [00:56:00] Georgia more and I like where the conversation has gone. We haven't even talked about Georgia that much and that's okay. I guess 

[00:56:06] Redge Flake: [00:56:06] just spending one weekend with you. I already know that I talked too much and your husband talks too much and you put us in a room together and I don't know, we might, it might be two in the morning and you're like, oh, what happened?

[00:56:20] Anna Thalman: [00:56:20] Yeah.this is the five-hour podcast. (laughter amongst all) 

[00:56:31] Kent Thalman: [00:56:31] that weekend was, a very talkative weekend. 

[00:56:34] Anna Thalman: [00:56:34] That was fun. Yeah, it was great. Well, I do have one more question for you, cause I just know there's people out there who feel the exact same way that you do or that we have talked about. And they're wondering, they're thinking about deciding to do this, to do this film and a family thing, or to make some big decision in their career or their family moving forward. do you remember, I know it's going [00:57:00] back a ways, but do you remember why you decided. To do it. And did you have any doubts or what would you say to someone who's maybe thinking about trying this? 

[00:57:11]Redge Flake: [00:57:11] Do I remember why? I have historically done a lot of, like, I've read a lot of self-help books and things like that. When I say that like, mostly in business context, I was encouraged with one of my jobs to read books and they would even give you a raise to read if you read certain books. And so it was like, of course, I'm going to read these books. I get more money, but, I think that, you know, like I tended to have a desire to prove myself. Right. and I also want to be a humble person. Like I want to be Teachable and be able to take feedback and, et cetera. And so part of that is just in a desire to be like that, like what, what's the next step I can do? But I mean, I'll be honest. part of it was just like I've never done it before. why not? what's it going [00:58:00] to hurt? You know? you know, so, in the spirit of humility and in this spirit, trying something new, And then, I was just really curious, how it works. I've always thought, I gave people good advice and I could really help people if, if I had the chance. So it was like, she's coaching him. I'm kind of curious how this works. And so, I don't necessarily feel any more adequate, like I don't feel like I would necessarily be any better at being a coach. In fact, I, probably would be a hindrance in some ways, because the idea that I have good advice is probably not the good way to start as a coach. Yeah. but I, I guess I just think that, if someone's hesitant, I think, you know, I think that you just gotta say, where am I at? Am I happy where I'm at? and, and. You know what have I tried? And is it working? And if it's not working, you know, what could work and maybe this is something that could work. And if, it's a possibility [00:59:00] and you are not in a place where you want to be, then you might as well try something you never know if it's the thing and, and really the truth is it's not really about, it's really about what you learn about yourself, this self-awareness, and, and that, and if, if I could be truly humble and just, and talk to the most intelligent person ever, and they just were like, you're kind of like this and this and this. And then I'm like, yeah, you're right. You know, but people aren't like that. And there is not anybody that can really know you that well. And so You're the only one who can really break that barrier in your life. it'd be nice to have the guru of all gurus, just slap like a stamp on your head that said, these are the things that are wrong with you, and this is what will help you become successful. but really like, you're just stopping yourself. And so if you don't, make effort to improve, then you, you won't improve. So I don't know. I'm rambling. 

[00:59:58] Kent Thalman: [00:59:58] It didn't feel like rambling at all. [01:00:00] no, I, I think this has been an awesome discussion. I really appreciate your time Redge coming onto the podcast and we will hopefully be able to catch up with you again. Maybe we'll have you on the podcast in a year or two. And you know, when you 

[01:00:12] Anna Thalman: [01:00:12] made your first feature. 

[01:00:13] Kent Thalman: [01:00:13] Yeah. Yeah. And congrats on The baby that's coming pretty soon hopefully not too soon. but pretty soon. And, we're happy to get to know you and Marissa, and we're excited for wherever your future takes you. So thanks so much for joining us and, taking a good long, this is a long episode, but thanks for taking a good long chunk of your evening and, and joining us on. 

[01:00:37] Redge Flake: [01:00:37] Cool. Thanks. Yeah, I appreciate it. It was fun. 

[01:00:41] Anna Thalman: [01:00:41] All right. Well, that's about it for today. if you want a successful career making feature films and a happy family at the same time, visit invisiblemansion.com/filmandfamily to apply for our next enrollment window in the film and family academy, which closes [01:01:00] July 1st, 2021. We only accept a select group of qualifying filmmakers each quarter. 

[01:01:06] Kent Thalman: [01:01:06] And if you qualify, you'll receive private mentorship. In addition to lifetime access to our library of courses, and our alumni are already realizing major career milestones and seeing dramatic transformations in their personal relationships.

[01:01:19] So if you don't want these results don't apply

[01:01:21] Anna Thalman: [01:01:21] and if you do visit invisiblemansion.com/filmandfamily and click apply before July 1st of this year, 

[01:01:29] Kent Thalman: [01:01:29] awesome. 

[01:01:29] Anna Thalman: [01:01:29] We'll see you next time. 

[01:01:30] Kent Thalman: [01:01:30] See you next time. Bye 

[01:01:31] Anna Thalman: [01:01:31] bye.