Feature Filmmaker

Ep. 84 - How to Make Films Together Without Killing Each Other

September 01, 2022 Anna Thalman
Feature Filmmaker
Ep. 84 - How to Make Films Together Without Killing Each Other
Show Notes Transcript

If you work with someone you love or are have family roles to play whilst also working on a film production, this episode is for you.

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Kent:

Hi, welcome to today's episode. Today, we're going to talk about making films together. And some of the things that we've learned. As a married couple. And as parents. And just balancing all of these priorities and making films on the same set at the same time. So this is. A story that's long in the making and we wanted to review or revisit this topic, which is something we've definitely talked about before. but just, we wanted to share some of our own personal experiences, I think, and then kind of think about some. Overarching principles that we've picked up along the way. because I think the last time we talked about this was, at least a year ago, at least hitting this directly. And we've talked a lot about the benefits of making films. And we've talked a lot about how it's possible to make films with families. and a lot of people think that that's really, really difficult or impossible. In this industry. And maybe it's an unsaid impossibility, but I think it's an that sits in a lot of people's So we just wanted to share our story. It's something that we decided, I think upon getting married, that we were just going to right into having kids. And we were just going to right into making films, but. We've quickly realized that was harder. Then it seemed, and also. We've also learned over the course of a few years. That, it's possible. And it's been quite the feature There's the end of the second act, dark night of the soul kind of stuff. Right. Where it's like, oh, they failed and they're not going to get it there. We've definitely had those moments right. Where it's like, okay, This is that we're never doing this again. This doesn't work it's impossible. And then we kind of, I don't know, gained some weight and didn't see anyone. Never spoke to people. And then. We shaved our beards. It came out of hiding. And save the world essentially. that's, that's what happens in acts three. third acts. Shave

Anna:

our beer, Okay.

Kent:

Yeah. what I mean? They kind of have a anyway. So, yeah.

Anna:

Well, So, this is an interesting topic. It's definitely the question we get the most from other people who are considering having families or who are interested in the fact that we both are involved in film. Eventually they always ask. How do you do it? How do you make films and also have kids Be married. Which is really the question that we should've asked before we tried to do it and didn't think to,

Kent:

but, but we couldn't have answered the question if we had asked it over ourselves And that's I think kind of what defines a dream. You say I'm going to do something and someone says how and you go, I have no idea. Like, we don't have a plan. We don't know how we're going to do it. We're just going to kind of throw our bodies in its general direction and hope that like, we don't die. It's like, We get a range for help, but then we'd taken over the house for film. And so. There was like nowhere for them to go. It was bad. It was a logistical nightmare. And, and that led to just all sorts of problems. And so, I'm just going to try and. I will fail. And then I'll try again. And it's like exponential learning in that, in Well,

Anna:

yeah, and I think we went into it. Trying failing. Miserably and not trying again for a while, and we won't get too much into the details of the failure, but we'll say that we made our feature film together. I was directing Kent was deeping and producing. And we cast our kids in the movie. So it really was a family ordeal. And that was very difficult. It was extremely hard on the family. We've talked about it before. After, so. We haven't mentioned this before, but afterwards we basically said. At first, it was, let's just not do film because we were ready to give up entirely. And then. Eventually it turned into, okay. We'll still do film, but just not at the same time and definitely not with our kids onset. And maybe we'll just each do our own separate projects until the kids leave home. We can take turns doing our movies

Kent:

and we can help each other on each other's projects. Just not on set at the same time, because it was the main reason being is that it was so stressful. We were trying to figure out how to take care of the kids. Cause we didn't want to neglect We inevitably were I think, one of the things that we decided was. Oh, like, I'll make the next film. Cause you directed this last one, but we, I mean, we really. It's really our film. In many, in all ways almost, but. I've really wanted to direct. And so we thought, okay, so we thought it would be my turn to direct. And so I was going to prep a project and I was going to prep a project in the meantime to make she'd do it. After mine was done, she'd have plenty of time to prep it and we just wouldn't be on set together. And then something kind of unexpectedly forced our hand to reconsider that. And it was somewhat recently, but we got hired to make a project. It was a commercial film. And we've talked about this as well on the podcast, but because we do a lot of pre-production and a lot of post-production. We're not just like contract directors. Hopping from set to set or contract. Filling the blank, DP, actor or whatever. Like we do some of those kinds of things where I'll on a set and shoot it, or animal, on a set and act and in, or whatever. But. For the most part, if we're taking something on together. It's something we both really want to do. And we're both like highly involved in the project through pre. And through production and through post. But that's rare ish. Like we don't do them like every week. And so what happened was we ended up needing Anna to act in a project. Because, a change happened, someone dropped out last minute. And we decided to try it and Ana. Hadn't been acting very much up to that point. And we had sort of already sworn off doing stuff together on the same set, but we just thought, okay, well for the same money, we would've paid an actor. We'll just get someone to help watch our It

Anna:

wasn't a feature film. It's just a little commercial. It didn't seem like a big deal. And honestly, What we were trying before that. Could work for a lot of people. If you are doing stuff where you are on set, most of the time. Like we said pre and post production are flexible. So we're able to just, we usually switch off days. I'm working and the other person watches the kids and we just, that works for us. We've also switched off like half days. Things like that. And then when you're on production, just, one person's at home taking care of the kids in the family, and one person is out working. That's usually what we do. And that can work great for a lot of people that could work just fine. but if there are projects you want to work on together, then they become sort of not an option or not an option until later. And so. Kent said this happened and, and they needed an actor. last minute. To fill in and we've thought it's just a small project, so let's, let's get a babysitter. Let's try it out. It's just, one thing and then we don't have to do it again. but it ended up being. Really healing and a really good experience. And we'll tell you

Kent:

why. Yeah. And so ultimately I think one of their main reasons that it was so enjoyable was, logistically it was a more prepared project than the feature which we right into. I think that's probably the biggest thing. And we've talked about that in detail, Since we were more prepared logistically, I think it allowed us to have like a lot of conversations about the character and get prepared. Anna was really prepared and then we showed up and we shot this thing and there was no like memorization or dialogue or anything. It was just, it was like a silent film almost with a commercial with narration over And so that just let us, I don't know, it was kind of relaxed and fun. And we shot over several days. mostly just weekends. And so, it was just like a couple of days. Or it was really one day a week for a few weeks. And the kids basically got like a big, long data. Have a good time with their, friends and, cause that's, we had someone who had similar aged kids. Watch the kids and that worked out super good. And so. We took that as like a proof of concept afterwards. And. The other big thing I think was that. There can be marital stress and, everyone has different personalities and they're in different places. Maritally. If they can collaborate like this. And for a lot of our listeners that just doesn't apply. Like most of us don't have spouses that are in film with us. But some of us do. And I think that some people ask us, like, how do you do that? How do you both be married and work together?

Anna:

We've heard tons of people say we would kill each other. If we were working together all day. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

Kent:

I well, and what's funny is we kind of judge people for saying that. And then I think we did find ourselves in a position where maybe that was. Not to that point, obviously, but like, we were not feeling great. We were, and I don't really feel like it was like a huge marital thing, but it was so hard that like, stress is stress and that spills over into other parts of our lives. We know that like, if we're stressed at work, sometimes we bring it home. Right. And so sometimes if we're stressed at home, sometimes we bring it to work and. And not always, but that can happen. And I think that for, for us, I think the stress overall was just so overwhelming. That we thought we would not be able to work together. And that's just at least for the sake of dividing and conquering, Just so that it was just reduced overall life stress. And on this one, it was actually like a reversal. It was like, it was like a change. what is it a. Who was it? Who said a change is as good as

Anna:

arrest? Yeah, that was Tilton hall. My friend has his dad would say that cause they would build fences together. And so it's like a really repetitive motion you do over and over And every once in a while they'd switched the jobs they were doing, which kind of let them use a different arm. And his dad would say, Hey, change is as good as arrest, which I love because they're still working, but changing muscles, kind of changing the rhythm. Yeah. It's really nice.

Kent:

Well, and it did nothing bad for our family, I think, to, delegate the watching of the kids for a day a week. And I think.

Anna:

There was a play date. Well, there's a

Kent:

lot of drama, I think mentally that happens with a lot of parents too. I think for this, like, It's like, oh, how much childcare should I or, or can I. Purchase, I guess, I don't know, like you're, you're, you're getting help to watch your kids and some, you can't delegate that job completely. No one else can be a parent to your child. And, yet, like, I think that it's up to each of us to decide how much help we're going to solicit in that way. And I'm not here to prescribe what that number is, but it was something we felt good about once a week for a few weeks. That felt fine. And, yeah, the kids felt great. They loved it. It was a new environment for them. And obviously the kid's temperament and development stage might have a lot to do with, if that's an option for you. or if you think that that's a good idea or not, that's obviously a parental decision. And, so for us maritally as well as that changes as good as arrest. I think that was a rest for our kids. I think they were happy to break up the routine a little bit, spend time with new people in a new place. And for us, it was spending time with each other, working in a way that we don't usually get And, Also in a new environment. And so in that way, I think it was actually really good for the family. I think we just, we came at life with like a new energy. Looking forward to something. And also looking forward to being back together, It was, it was good. And, learned a lot of lessons through it. Yeah,

Anna:

I'd love to kind of break down the main things that we felt like worked this time around, or that didn't work the first time around, just so that you guys, if you are attempting this or trying to find this balance, get some ideas of. What worked for us or what didn't. So Ken, I'm curious if you have like specific things that you would say. Made it different this time than the time before.

Kent:

Well, Before I like to talk about that, but I'll also mentioned that we've done it again since the project that we've referenced, where you acted in it. We did another project where you directed it. It was a commercial project and ID peed it. And then did most of the work in posts that you directed me through And, that project was also a really good experience. We did a similar approach, except it wasn't, it didn't necessitate as much shooting. So it was really just a two day shoot, but we had to travel. So it was about four days that we left and we had to get, once again, we had to find a place for the kids to We ended up doing the exact same arrangement as before. And it was great. They looked forward to it for weeks. They loved it and we came back and it was a lot of fun. And, for the most part, I thought that was good, but I learned different things on that shoot than on this one. And I think that taking both of those together to answer your question, I learned, It sounds silly, but I think when both of us show up as prepared to do whatever our role is, whether you were acting or directing or whether I was directing or deeping Whatever I'm coming as prepared as possible. I think reduced a lot of S a lot of stress. And so the experience really positive. So the first one was fiction. You were very prepared, I think, as an actress, especially given your short notice, it was like two days before. You jumped onto Into that position. And I had really prepared that particular one, but it was fiction. It was like a fiction narrative commercial. And so we'll post it in the show notes. If you. Yeah, we could. but it was the point is, is that it was able to be shortlisted. We could shortlist it very specifically. We storyboarded it, we Tek scouted, we location scouted. Whereas this one was. It was, a remote shoot, not remote, but like out of it was out of state. We had to travel And it was a live event for corporate. client. And that's very different, right? We, we could shortlist a little bit, but we didn't really know what the location looked like. There was a limit as to equipment we could bring with us versus rent. And with rental equipment always comes like last minute, like figuring stuff out. So this stuff adds to like, They're being a little less ability to prepare. And so I thought that was a slightly more stressful shoot for me. But, I mean, that goes for any shoot. Right. But it especially matters. I think if we're married, That we're highly prepared and that we're both preparing for the role, because if we're onset and things don't feel prepared and we're getting stressed Well with like a professional collaborator, it's really easy to be like, okay, I need to be patient with this person so they can keep performing. But when it's your spouse, that familiarity sometimes breeds contempt. Right? And so we are sometimes not as professional with each other. So I think that. that preparation, I think is just, it's always been kind of one in my mind, since we've had these experiences.

Anna:

Yeah, definitely. I think preparation is huge. And on that same note to a degree, I feel like it's important to realize You don't want to wear too many hats or play too many roles and parenting is a role. And even being a spouse is a role that you play and. I didn't think of it that way. When we made our feature But when we were on set. Those kids needed. Our kids. Needed to help them kids, kids that we found. needed help to get into their to get their hair done, to learn their lines, to learn what they needed to do. And in between the times that we needed them, while they're on set, they need someone watching them and making sure they're not. Running off or getting into things or being loud, or, and we thought that what they're getting fed.

Kent:

Yeah, well, we thought that we'd prepared for that. We we'd we'd brought someone on just to help watch the kids, but they were going to take the kids off set and kind of help them have like a life, like, especially when they weren't needed. But there was no one on set to take care of the kids between takes. It seems obvious, but that since there were multiple kids, that was multiple people that would have been needed to do that because you don't want all the kids on set. Especially since the youngest at the time was like one and a half. Way too young to be. On a set. Like they can't be quiet. Right. And, unless they're in the scene, then it's like put them in there. So when they're not being used, they need to be a way like completely offset.

Anna:

So you need someone to take care of each child or each location. someone on set with kids, someone offsite with the kids. But, but I guess that was. Part of the point The role of, for example, hosting, we, we filmed in our own house, the role of. Making meals for kids, the role of, Getting them ready for their part. All of those things are roles and, And so if you aren't going to assign that job to someone, you need to make sure you're not giving yourself too many jobs. And even as a married couple, we have to be able to say like, okay, Sometimes I step in as your spouse is like a support and a friend, and we can talk through things if you're stressed and then sometimes we need to be professional and get a job done. And we need to know when to kind of step in and out of those roles. And I think. Stepping into a professional role. Was easier to do on some of these other sets. we had other people around us. Who were all professional collaborators. And I think that helped it doesn't feel so much like. Just us. Trying to make a thing happen. there were a few different reasons why. It was easier to be professional, but I think that also made a difference.

Kent:

Yeah. Well, and I think that like, Sometimes if life is getting so stressful or the movie's getting so stressful, it's like the mom part of you or the wife part of you or the dad part of me or the husband. Pardon I was so stressed that it's like, I needed you to be a spouse or vice versa. And it's like, we almost couldn't let each other step into the professional role, like enough to get the job done. I think which added like, A burden and a stress to the project, whereas like, For me, there's a lot of mental drama around, delegating anything regarding my kids. And so like, I was kind of alluding to that before, but like, I don't like delegating almost anything. So we homeschool. So that's just one thing that like, most people delegate. And I think that's fine. I like. I'm really grateful for public schools existing in our society. but I just, for some reason, I've always felt like I wanted to. Play a very central role in that. And, and in the education of my children

Anna:

specifically, Let us be more flexible. It's something

Kent:

that helps as filmmakers. It has actually been a really big blessing.

Anna:

We can travel. We can take days off whenever we need to. So that's been strategic for us as well.

Kent:

but, even, still it's also a burden in some ways, obviously. And so,

Anna:

yeah, it's definitely time commitment, but it also, in some ways helps me feel like. Almost more justified in the times when we do. Hire out caretaking because I get to spend so much time with my kids so much more than the average parent. That it feels balanced to

Kent:

me. And I spend much more time than the average dad, because we swapped days. So these are all systems that we've developed for ourselves and our families. But, my point is, is that just mentally, I think there's a block there where it's very hard for me to, like you said, justifying my own mind. Like none. And I feel like a bad dad. And, once again, I mean, I've seen people who they do, they do childcare daily. With kids younger than ours. And you know, what, they're making it work in a way that they seem to have a very strong relationship with these young children as parents. And I don't know how they do it, but there. That's because that's their system. That's their life. That's there. Relationships. And I think there are some people can make that work. And I think I've had to open that up in my own mind to accept that. but I also, I guess my point here is. What I really realized on a feature film is that it's way more responsible. To delegate the care of those children than to try and bring them with me everywhere when I am absolutely not capable of giving them the attention and the love that they need. Because set was not a good parenting environment. It was not a good child environment. It was not a good place. For our kids at the time. And it might've been, if there'd been more people helping, if there had been, I don't know, just more preparation for that to occur, but we just We just didn't know what we didn't know and we didn't account for all of those things. And so I just have learned, I've learned that, There's really a time and a place for me to show up as the best parent that I can be. And when I need to provide, I can. Make sure that. My children are taken care of. in a way that's best for that situation. And I think giving myself that latitude and kind of waking up to that, like, And getting rid of the black and white sort of. I don't judgment. Like self judgment around. That particular issue has been a challenge for me, but I think it's been good because. I've definitely felt better about the experience my children are having when I've not been with them. I'm working. And they're having a great time. With friends and getting the education they need while I'm gone. Then when I was like trying to pull them in onset. Yeah, no homeschool happened for weeks while we were working on that feature. Nothing happen. It was no education, not a lot of, Good examples from mom and dad, we were too stressed and not at our best. And so, yeah.

Anna:

I think this is definitely, something that women face probably more often than men.

Kent:

Yeah, and I think I face it more than most men because of my central Because I have so much more time with them on like a daily, like morning through afternoon basis. Yeah, every other day, than most. Than most dads. And there's a lot of stay-at-home dads now and

Anna:

well, and there are a lot of other things too, I've thought about how pregnancy like. Can completely take over your life in a way where, when I'm first pregnant, I get very sick and it's really hard for me to, to get any good work done because I'm so nauseated. but. Or even acting, there's a lot of acting roles that I can't do if I'm pregnant and, after baby's born her, name's Gallica DOE. It can happen. But it's rare and it's kind of tricky to navigate. So. Even after having a newborn baby, those newborn babies are very dependent on shut things down for awhile on mom, And I've. Done production still where I've traveled and I'm pause, I'm pumping milk to feed the babies and I get back and it's a tricky thing. To balance it can be done, but, add that on top of. The usual Mom guilt or feeling like. You should be there. I think it's, it's really good to realize At least for me, this helps. I'm not always the best person to watch my kids. And I think it's my job to make sure that they are taking care of their needs are met. They're in good hands of people I trust and completely believe But it's not always me and I'm not always better than someone else. And it's like, I've been humbled enough times to think who am I to say that I'm a better parent or that I will do a better job? Taking care of this child, just because I gave birth to this child. And in some ways I am, because I know them and I love them deeper than most people,

Kent:

I think in the longterm, like. In the. There's a part of us, right. As parents, that, we are the best. Person or a rather. I don't know, it's hard to, it's hard to define there's exceptions to all of these things, right. I mean, we just did foster care and we know that there's some times. Hard situations where these. Relationships. As important as they are. Aren't the safest place for children. And that's not, I think the place where most of us are at, right. And if. Most of us. if there's something happening with like drug addiction or if the home just isn't safe or there's abuse, then. That can sometimes necessitate a, but even in those circumstances, no matter what something we've learned through the foster system is that. No matter how bad it is or how dangerous and environment it is for child. No matter how good or safe the new environment is for child. Particularly child in the foster care system. They're going to want to go back to Birth parents, like they want to go back and there's trauma involved with that separation. And so part of me does say, Yes, we want to be the best parents we can because we are the best people to take care of those children. But then there are some circumstances where we're not, I'm not disagreeing I just think that it's our job to judge when those moments are, it's a

Anna:

complex issue and it is our responsibility by bringing the children into the world and accepting, that responsibility to take care of them, to make sure We're giving them the best care that they can, whether that's like I'm actually giving the care myself or I'm hiring someone else to But. I definitely feel like. Me when I'm onset and distracted. Is not going to be a better mom than someone who I'm paying. Who wants to do this? Who loves watching kids? You know, there's great people out there who can help out. And it takes a village. It really does to, raise a child. Right. And I think it's been really healthy for our kids too. Have that experience of seeing someone else's home and. Getting to have a play date, but again, it's just one day a week and it's not like we come home and wow. You've grown up and I haven't seen you forever. It's like, Oh, how was your play date? Did you have a fun day and hang out all week and then we'll do another one. And I mean, I didn't make. You mean for this episode to be so much about childcare? And childcare, but it definitely is a topic that Thoughtful about. For

Kent:

us, it was huge. And it had a huge effect on us working on set together. I mean, it was massive. And that's something we've just had to figure out and.

Anna:

even the preparation you were talking about, I think is huge. Preparing someone to watch your children. Is a lot of work too, because children have Yeah, they have their schedule. They have when they need to nap and when they go to bed and what the discipline methods are and what they eat and all of those things have to be prepared and communicated and figured out in advance. And if they aren't. It's very hard to step out of that role. And focus on something else, because even on our feature film, that was kind of disastrous when I wasn't. On set. I was still texting. the caretaker. And trying to figure out. Where things were, where their clothes are, what they like to eat, what to do about, something that they were running into. And that was also something that I had not prepared. And this next time around, I was very carefully. Working together with the caretakers. To prepare. schedule and the routine and make sure she had all the supplies she needed and was good to go. So. house to herself.

Kent:

no, where we were not shooting.

Anna:

And very essential. And so I think that preparation. For that role was also

Kent:

vital. So I think what's interesting is, I want to bring up something that Jody Moore, who is Anna's life coach. Who's really amazing. And she's also becoming as business coach. She said something in a live event that we attended recently. And she said, I'm talking about dreams and how they're different from goals. Is that a dream is something that's basically impossible. And when we really decide to hold onto a dream. it needs to sound crazy. It usually makes us very scared. And when we start towards it, We have to be extremely bad at it. Like we don't even know what to do. And if we do know what to do, we know that we don't know how to do it, And so she talked about to a lot of people who were starting businesses who might need to learn how to do a webinar. And she basically said, Do. A webinar, how you learn how to do webinars, make a bad webinar. And do 25 bad webinars. And the woman said, well, webinars harder than a podcast. Cause you have to wear makeup. And she said, Do I do 25 bad webinars and then, and then put lip gloss on or something. It's. It's like on the 26th. And so I just it's this like, We get good at things by being bad at them. And Alexander mackendrick said the same thing about filmmaking. He, he said, one of the biggest things that students struggle with is that they're just not doing a high enough volume of work and they need to get used to doing the work so that once the work can become second nature. Then they can. Become creatively minded on. These projects, And, and so for us, I think the dream was okay, we're going to be married. We're going to have kids. We're actually going to be like a happy family and we're going to make movies together. And we just didn't even, part of it was just, we were Mr. Burns too ignorant, stubborn. S dreamy eyed. I don't know what it was, but we were just like, of course that'll work out. Great. And you're going to be a full-time mom. And you're going to work and make movies with me. I don't understand. And we're going to homeschool. it was like, it didn't make any sense, like all this stuff, and yet we are kind of doing it. You basically, we've just walked into it and we were bad at it for several years. And I think after nearly eight years of marriage in the last two years, we've made. Huge strides towards figuring it out. And. we're not perfect at it, but we're getting a lot better at it. And I think we're just learning how to like the work is not. The problem as much anymore. And the family, Leo logistics are not the problem. It's just now we're able to shift our mind towards the creative and, I think it's something we just, we can accept that without drama. We can just say, yeah, like. Is this going to take quite a number of years to figure out, and it might be hard and we might make some big mistakes. We may have to make a lot of apologies. Ah, to each other and to our kids and to the rest of the crew and to other people and, and, that's okay. Like, I don't know. I'm starting to really accept the fact that that learning process costs what it costs. And. We didn't know what we didn't know. And we did know what we didn't know in some cases, and we just had to learn and we had to be bad at it. And boy, were we bad at it? And yet I think we're creating something, not just the movie. Although I do think the movie is really great. It's coming together in a way that I'm excited about, the one that was really hard. But when I say we're making something, I'm referring to the family and the life. Of being married filmmakers that actually can work together on projects, not every single project, but. when it's, when it makes sense, we work together and it's really exciting and fun. And I think, especially with the features, we're going to keep working together. and I, and that's starting to become almost obvious. Logistically like. listening to this podcast, we haven't shared anything. That's like super mind blowing secrets or anything. It's just stuff we didn't know. It's just, if we didn't think to think And that's how it'll be for you. It'll be a mystery. It'll be a big, scary dream. And then once you figure it out, you're gonna look back and go, well, that's all it was. We just had to like, get a babysitter, I guess.

Anna:

Think And so, yeah. It's that simplicity on the other side of complexity, where things all seem simple until you try to do them. And then it gets complex. And then through all that complexity, if you can stick with it through the complexity and the chaos long enough, it becomes simple again. And you find A way that works for you. And we've shared some of the things that have worked for us. But you'll have to find what works for you and for your family. And it, it might be totally different, but just believing that it is possible and moving through, being bad at it. And staying with it long enough. I think that's It will, post in the show notes was such a great experience for us was because it helped us realize that it was possible. And. that we were actually living something we dreamed of. Long ago and didn't think was possible and thought we failed at it was kind of coming together and starting to And so, our. Production company's called invisible mansion. And there's lots of things that, that means, but for me, it also one thing that it means is. Is your inner life, you live inside of your life and inside of your experience of your life. And no one sees that except for you. And. in a Hollywood studio lot, there might be like fronts where there's a whole street. If you've ever gone in toward. Where does that universal studios or whatever they take you out. And there's a whole street of storefronts, but they're all false. Like, it looks very real, but then behind it, it's just a wall. There's nothing back there. And a lot of people, I think in our industry, May have that. You may be living that where you feel like it looks good to everyone on the outside, but I'm the one inside of it. Living it and I feel empty and I feel like I'm not doing all the things I want And it looks good, but isn't. And then some of you might be like, we were trying to build this mansion, this. All of these things. We wanted family and film and working together and being married and having kids and homeschooling and all of these things. We're laying this foundation. And it's huge and it takes to include all the walls we're going around in circles, laying bricks. And not seeing much progress and it looks bad, from the outside, it doesn't look impressive and it's going to rain and you're going to get wet and it's gonna feel Man. I wish I wish I could have something that looked as nice as whatever else just threw up really quickly. And, and yet you get to a point where you've built something really sturdy and it's includes and has a room for everything that you want to be part of your And I think it was just one of those moments where if you've ever built a house, do you like kind of walk in? You're like, wow, this is actually like starting to like to get like a house, like. I can't really live in it yet. It's not the dream But I'm seeing. I'm seeing it. Be realized in front of my eyes. Yeah.

Kent:

So yeah, I can see without as much stretch of the imagination. Is that it's getting real. Yeah. And, and that's something that like, we're just delaying for ourselves by putting up false facades. We are. Those a false facade gets the job done for as long as it gets the job done. But behind it. Things start falling apart. And I think that's why. In this in many other industries, especially in Hollywood where the expectation is like, Hot from set to set work 14 hour days. And. I mean, it's getting I think there, there are some systemic changes that need to be happening in our industry, but. Even if those system changes never happen. What Anna and I truly believe is that we can make. Personal and familial changes. That make it possible for us to do the things that we dream of without waiting on the world to change as John Mayer. Unwisely suggests that we all do so. I liked John Maris music. So, sorry. She was a great musician. And, and so. That's encouraging for me. And I hope it's encouraging for others who might have some aspect of their dream. Whether it's similar to ours or completely different. Things especially feel impossible when it feels like no one else in the world is doing it the way you want to do it. And we definitely felt that way thinking. Yeah, we're going to have kids right away and we're going to get married young, and we're gonna go straight into film. We're going to both be in film and we're going to homeschool and yada, yada, yada. Et cetera, et cetera. It's like, it just was like this picture that it was like, everyone goes, that's not how people do it. Right. It's like, it just feels so different. And your picture is going to feel that way. I mean, if you really being true to yourself and you're, and you're putting the dream together, It's going to be unique in some way. It's going to go. No one else. I've never seen Quite like this, but that's kind of exciting. You can pave that way. for other people and just. Be brave enough to be different and, and be okay with being really bad at it. And then you'll figure it out. It'll come together with time. So. Yeah.

Anna:

Yeah. I, one other thing that I would just throw in there is I think it's important to not wait. To try to do all the things to move forward with all of

Kent:

the things I think it's important to, to start as early

Anna:

Early as you can, because if you're laying a foundation. You want to lay it all the way around all of the things that you want to have in your house, right? You don't want to just. Lay the foundation in one area and build that one area. That's the false facade we were talking about. And I think I see a lot of people. Approaching balance. Like, I'm just gonna lean really hard into the career and then I'm going to lean completely into family. And then I'm going to go back into the career and it's like this. Balancing act where you're switching from one end of the scale to the other and trying to give yourself whiplash. Yeah, like call that balance balance is not one side slamming to the ground while the other one shoots up. And then the other side slamming to the ground while the other one shoots up. Balances, both maintaining both at the same time. And so whatever those dreams are for you, I think make sure that you're working towards them. And all of them, even if it's just 10 minutes a day, even if it's just. Once a week, whatever it is. And on that note, we have, an offer. Now we offer three free Greenlight calls every week within our program, which. it's just to add onto that checklist. We feel like a lot of people download the checklist, love the checklist. And if you're not Do anything on

Kent:

it? Yeah. And if you're not familiar with the free checklist, it's a make your first feature film checklist that goes through. All the way from ideation and development, all the way through distribution and sales. every single, every single step that we can think of in that filmmaking process, and that's free. And if you don't already have that, then we can put that in the show That's

Anna:

always in the show notes. So you can download that. if you don't have it already and if you do. But you haven't been using it very regularly. we highly encourage you to take advantage of the Greenlight call. And I think some people wait because they think, I don't know, like maybe once I. Once I've written the script, then I'm ready to move forward and do this Greenlight call where we'll help you make a plan. It doesn't really make your feature film. Cause

Kent:

we have resources on there to help you like push that script forward.

Anna:

We have resources that will help you through all the stages. So wherever you're at, even if it's just, I'm kind of thinking about this idea. Definitely take advantage of that. It's a way that we like to give back is opening up those three calls a week. so jump on and grab them before they fill up. And. we'd love to help you get started on making this dream a reality. And something that is becoming real for you in your life.

Kent:

Absolutely. Well, we hope you really enjoyed this episode. We've really enjoyed. recording it and talking about it. Thanks Santa. For. Push me around in my brain with some good questions and such. And so, yeah, it's always good to remember what we've learned and, we hope that it's been helpful and we are excited to see as you guys take the checklist and the Greenlight call. To see how you guys, To start taking to subs to making your own dreams, realities, and, and, doing what seems impossible. All right,

Anna:

we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.